Fate Zero - The Grail's Misfits
by TheMonkfish
Summary: You know the drill, the seven Servants of Fate/Zero replaced by fictional characters, with nobody knowing how or why. These Heroic (or less than heroic) Spirits will do battle with their confused Masters in tow. Now with the added confusion of the Masters not even getting the class they wanted! Rated T for...uh violence and Saber's foul mouth?
1. The Summoning

**Now, I'm pretty sure you've probably read this kind of fic before, right? Well, I felt like doing my own take on this, rather obviously inspire by several others on the site, most famously _Fate Zero Sense_ by The Infamous Man. To try and keep it a _little_ original, I've mixed up the Class/Master pairings. Let's see if any of you can guess who the Servants are, eh?**

* * *

The first thing Kiritsugu Emiya noticed, was that the Servant he had summoned was clearly not Arthur Pendragon, King of Knights. The man who stood before him was dressed in what appeared to be late 20th century combat fatigues, with ragged brown hair and an untidy beard. His right eye was covered by an eyepatch, and curiously, his left arm had been replaced by a crimson prosthetic.

"I am Servant Assassin" the man said, in a deep, gravelly voice, "I ask of you...are you my Master?"

This Servant was not the individual Emiya had endeavoured to summon, nor was he even in the class he would have preferred...however, Assassin WAS rather suited to his own underhanded style of combat, and this Servant's abilites, at first glance, were nothing to sneer at; Presence Concealement ranked A+ was formidable indeed.

"Yes, Assassin, I am your master" replied Kiritsugu, "I look forward to working with you".

Assassin nodded in response.

"Well then" he said, "I'd like to get an idea of the area we'll be operating in".

* * *

Emiya was by no means the only one who had received an unexpected Servant. In a forest clearing, chosen for its secrecy, Waver Velvet had summoned what appeared to be, by all means, an ordinary boy in his late teens. The young man wore a simple black shirt and red trousers, and atop his head were a pair of white headphones. The only strange thing about him was his dark blue hair.

"Uh...so, are you my master then?" asked the boy.

"I suppose...I am?" replied a very confused Waver.

"Alright! So, you wanna go get something to eat? I'm starving!" said the Servant with a wide grin.

"You haven't even told me what class you are!" said Waver, now annoyed as well as confused, "what kind of Heroic Spirit are you, anyway?"

"Me? I'm Servant Caster, boss man, and I'm here to kick ass and...well, I can't think of the rest, so I'll just kick ass for now".

"Well...at least you're not some raging lunatic..." sighed Waver. He did wish his Servant was a bit more serious though.

"So, you coming or not?" asked Caster.

* * *

Tokiomi was, to put things simply, rather displeased. Instead of the mighty King of Heroes, Gilgamesh, he had apparently summoned a bored looking young woman in peculiar dress. Over her white hoodie, she wore a brown jacket with the emblem of a green Unicorn's head on the back, and white trousers with an arrangement of belts and straps on them. Her short blonde hair was tied up at the back.

"I suppose you're my Master then?" she sighed, "I'm Servant Rider..."

Tokiomi wasn't quite sure what to say, so he went with his usual careful negotiation.

"Well...I hope we can work together satisfactorily" he said, with a polite smile. Rider did not smile back.

"Call if you actually need me for something" she said, Astralising and fading out.

Tokiomi was definitely not a happy man, but it could be worse.

* * *

Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald was in a far worse situation. He had summoned not Diarmuid, the legendary Lancer, but some reckless punk with no respect for any kind of authority. The Servant wore a dark green shirt and black trousers from some kind of school uniform, with the blazer tied about his waist, and two katana sheathed at his belt. His hair was flaming red, and across his face was a large X-shaped scar.

"Oh for fuck's sake...you're my Master?" snarled the young man, "well, whatever, as long as you don't get my ass killed..."

Kayneth, as he often did, took offense immediately.

"You dare!" he roared, "I am your Master, and you will treat me with respect as such!"

"Ah, piss off" scoffed the Servant, "I'm Servant Saber, and although I may not like you, and you clearly don't like me, we gotta work together on this!"

Kayneth calmed himself somewhat.

"Well...as long as you obey my instructions, this will not be TOO hard" he sneered.

"Tch, just point me at the enemy and we'll be fine" replied Saber, "when I'm fighting, we won't have to deal with each other, eh?"

Kayneth was inclined to agree...well, all might not be lost. Saber's stats were above average, particularly his Agility, and he possessed an immensely powerful Noble Phantasm. He would have to restrain himself for the good of winning the war, it seemed.

* * *

Kiritsugu lead Assassin out of the Einzbern castle to a car, joined by his wife, Irisviel.

"So, from what I can make out, you are an expert in Infiltration and firearms?" asked Emiya, wanting to know what he had to work with.

"In my life, they called me the greatest soldier of the 20th century" replied Assassin, "there isn't a weapon I can't use, or a place I can't sneak in to". Kiritsugu grinned.

"So, your skills complement mine quite nicely" he replied, "eliminating the enemy Masters should be easy enough".

"So you've come to the same conclusion as me, that the Master is the obvious target rather than the Servant?" replied Assassin, "good to see we're thinking similarly".

"Ideally, we should wait for other Servants to engage each other, then pick off the Masters one by one as they're distracted" continued Assassin, "My Noble Phantasm will give us an edge in terms of intelligence gathering and information". Kiritsugu was interested in that.

"You have a Phantasm for the gathering of information?" he asked.

"Indeed" said Assassin, producing a black and yellow device from a pouch on his belt, "The iDroid, giving me access to whatever my Intel team knows; local maps, predicted enemy locations, weather patterns, whatever I need".

"With this, and our own skills, we'll have the edge over the other masters...but only as long as we have the element of surprise" mused Emiya.

"Don't worry about that" replied Assassin, "they won't see us coming".

* * *

In a decidedly less formal discussion, Caster and Waver were chatting idly over a meal at a cheap cafe in downtown Fuyuki.

"How's a guy like you end up in the Grail War then?" asked Caster, "I mean, no offense, but you're a kid and all, and you don't seem like the fighting type".

"You really want to know?" said Waver, "my teacher, Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald, always looked down on my, because I wasn't of one of the 'noble Magus familes'. I stole the catalyst he was using to enter this War, to get back at him for what he did..." Waver looked down, "It was a stupid idea...he'll be back for me, and I won't stand a chance". Looking up, he saw determination in Caster's eyes.

"Boss, if this asshole shows his face here, he's finished, and that's a promise! You got me?" he said, "you might not think it, but you're a pretty good guy...and what you did? Dude, that's not stupid, it's awesome! Not to mention pretty damn brave!"

"Y-you really think so?" spluttered Waver, surprised.

"Hell yeah! I'd say I would never have done something like that, but I kinda did something even stupider, so yeah..." Caster replied, "chin up, buddy, we've got a war to win, you know!"

"Yeah..." said Waver. He might still not be convinced, but Caster's words had clearly has some sort of effect on him.

"You had a chance to look at my skills yet, Waver?" asked Caster.

"Uh...no, sorry, I've been kind of distracted" said Waver. He took a quick look at his Servant's stats...well, they were rather ludicrous. Physically, he was pretty average, but then again, he WAS a Caster. His Magic stat was A++, ridiculously strong, and his _Summoning Magic_ skill was ranked EX, of all things! Who was this Heroic Spirit?

"I'm not exactly of your world, so it's no wonder you don't recognise me" said Caster, answering Waver's unvoiced question, "you'll see my summons in action when we find an enemy, no doubt...they're not really suited for everyday use".

* * *

Another summoning, this time by the Matou family of Magi, had seemingly gone awry.

"Kariya, you fool!" hissed Zouken Marou, "you couldn't even summon a Servant of the right class, never mind the one that I intended!"

No vicious Berzerker had been summoned. An ordinary looking female student emerged from the summoning circle instead, in a plain looking black school uniform. She had medium length black hair, and wore glasses.

"Um...I'm Servant Archer..." she said quietly, "which one of you is my Master?"

"That's...me" coughed Kariya, the Matou Magecraft already taking its toll on his body.

"Tch...well, at least you actually summoned a Servant" scoffed Zouken, "now, be off with you! Win me the Grail, and Sakura is free to leave...if you fail, on the other hand..." he left the unspoken threat hanging.

Kariya staggered out of the Matou basement, followed by a worried looking Archer.

"Master, what's wrong?" she asked.

"It's nothing" sighed Kariya, "just...the family's Magecraft is less than pleasant...".

"Don't worry Master, we'll win this War, and then you can be better again, right?" asked Archer.

Kariya managed to conjure a small smile.

"Right..." he said.

* * *

Kirei Kotomine had been the first to summon his Servant, which meant he had to put up with Lancer's attitude for the longest. Even for a man of his patience, his Servant was beginning to get on his nerves.

A red-haired girl in a teal hoodie materialized next to Kirei, chewing on a stick of Pocky.

"Are you gonna tell me when I can fight something yet?" she asked.

Kirei sighed...this was going to be a long Grail War...and despite all this, he still didn't know what wish he could hold that the Grail had picked him.

* * *

Uryuu Ryunosuke stepped back and admired his handiwork. The circle flared to life, and a barely visible shape blurred out of it, before coming to stop before the summoner.

"I ask, are you my master?" came the voice of the Servant. The Servant wore what seemed to be a Jockey's outfit, complete with the signature hat. His blonde hair was reasonably long, and he held himself in a way that belied his arrogance.

"Master? I dunno, but do you want to eat this kid?" grinned Uryuu. The servant growled, and his hand transformed into bestial claws. A lizard like tail grew from the base of his back, and his grin contorted into a reptilian snarl. With a flash, he sprang on the offering and shredded it in seconds, faster than the eye could see. All that was left was blood and tatters of clothing.

"COOL!" gasped Uryuu, "dude, you have to show me more!"

The lizard man grunted in response. Being summoned as the Berzerker class will do that to you.


	2. Initial Strike

**Hello again! Sorry this took a while to come out. Thanks for all the reviews and a special thanks to 'Gashadokuro Amanojaku' for the feedback. A lot of the Servants HAVE been guessed already, but not Saber, Caster, or Archer yet, which I feel may change for this chapter.**

 **Anyway, do enjoy!**

* * *

Saber whistled idly to himself as he paced up and down the docks of Fuyuki City. The plan had been to try and lure in a Servant with his presence, then have Kayneth stage a surprise attack on the Master, but evidently no Servant had taken the bait.

"Ugh...I guess I gotta make myself a bit more obvious" sighed Saber. He drew his swords and swung them around experimentally. A blue aura surrounded him, as he almost summoned his Noble Phantasm, but not quite. In theory, this would light up like a beacon for any nearby Servants.

Saber was in luck. Before long, he heard voices around the corner.

"Caster, why are we here again?" came one voice.

"There's a Servant here, you know" replied the other, "It'd be rude to not accept the challenge, no?"

Waver Velvet and Caster emerged from behind some shipping crates, Waver looking nervous and Caster with his ever-present smile.

"You're Saber, I guess?" said Caster, "the swords kinda give you away, dude".

"You got me" chuckled Saber, "now, let's get to business, shall we?" Almost immediately, Saber vanished in a blue flash.

"Well, that's not good" said Caster, "ah well, let's do this". He produced what looked suspiciously like a Nintendo Handheld, and tapped a few buttons.

In a flash of light, Saber appeared above Caster, flying downwards with swords at the ready, but before he could strike, his blade was parried by that of an apparition called forth by Caster. The creature resembled some sort of wolf-man, with ragged armour and a huge, blunted sword.

"What the fuck?" shouted a shocked Saber as he was sent flying off Caster by the newcomer's swing.

"Aaaand another" continued Caster, summoning a second creature, this time a small fairy in a blue outfit, who hovered behind him on her insect-like wings.

"Screw it, you're dying either way!" yelled Saber, rushing forward in a frenzied assault, and hacking the first summon to pieces before it could react. A blast of wind from the fairy knocked him back before he could assail Caster, however.

"Okay, you're pretty good" grinned Caster, "I might have to actually try!" Saber snarled at this, and used his vanishing technique again. As he appeared, he was battered by the massive hammer of another summon, a barbarian-looking man with a fur cloak. Saber was hurled back into some crates, smashing through a couple with relative ease.

"Oooh, home run!" laughed Caster. Before he could celebrate however, a bullet fired from far off took his summon through the head, causing him to vanish in a flash of light.

"Oi, that's cheating!" yelled Caster, diving for cover.

* * *

Some distance away, Archer pulled back the bolt on her sniper rifle and readied another shot. She'd been intending to take out Caster himself with that shot, but his familiar had got in the way...could he have known she was taking aim at him? Archer quickly dismissed those thoughts. She was more than a safe distance away; there was no way Caster could know her location.

"Did you get him?" asked Kariya, hunched over in the corner of the room Archer had chosen as her firing position.

"Not yet Master, my apologies, but I won't miss the same target twice" said a resolute Archer.

* * *

Saber staggered to his feet. Even with his high stats, that attack had hurt. Now, he had no choice but to go all out.

"Tsukiyomi" hissed the red-haired Servant. Almost immediately, the Servant of the blade vanished from sight completely.

Saber flashed into existence behind Caster, catching the mage Servant by surprise, and easily bisecting the fairy familiar with one slash. A pair of bulky summons burst forth, swinging clubs at Saber, but he dodged them easily and decapitated both enemies with one swing.

Just then, Archer took her next shot.

The bullet flew in towards Saber's head, but as it was about to hit, a spectral hand caught the round in mid air. the hand took full form as what was clearly some sort of summon created by Saber. The creature was blood red and black, with a jagged moon-shaped protrusion from its head and a flickering black blade in one hand.

"Pains me to have to reveal my Phantasm this early..." sighed Saber, " _Tsukiyomi, the Lunar Blade_ , my true self".

Tsukiyomi turned to look directly at where Archer was hiding.

* * *

"Not good" said Archer, "Master, move!"

The sniper Servant dived out of the window she'd been shooting from, and Kariya staggered down the stairs, unable to move as quickly as his ally. They just made it. The floor they had been on erupted in black flames just as they escaped it.

No longer shrouded in shadow, it was clear that Archer's appearance had changed. Her black hair was now electric blue, and she wore a white and green outfit, with fingerless gloves and a long white scarf.

"I think it's time we left" coughed Kariya, who'd just caught up to Archer, "Tokiomi's Servant is nowhere to be seen". However, he might have spoken too soon.

* * *

With a sound like the whirring of some mechanism, Rider came hurtling towards Saber, propelled on some sort of grappling lines, with a pair of strange blades drawn. Saber parried with his own swords just in time, and Rider jumped back, sheathing her blades.

"So you are to be my opponents?" she asked, "I somehow expected better..."

Saber snarled at the insult and sliced at Rider, but she somehow dodged his swing and tripped him up with a well placed kick.

"You're too obvious in your movements, Saber" said Rider.

Just then, Caster chose to show himself again.

"Uh, hey there!" he said to Rider, "you know, I have no idea what class you are".

"I feel no need to tell you" replied Rider. Then, a voice came from a nearby warehouse, amplified by Magecraft.

"Saber, retreat for now!" ordered the mage. Saber growled, then Astralized and vanished. Waver fell to his knees, fear in his eyes.

"Kayneth..." he gasped, "He's here...with a Servant..."

"Hey, buddy, remember what I said, right?" said Caster to Waver, "he's finished the moment I set eyes on him!"

Evidently either Rider was bored of this, or had received orders to fall back, for she too retreated from Caster.

"So...I won? Sweet!" laughed Caster, "flee before me, mortals!"

As Caster and his Master left the area, a suspicious looking box shifted and moved to reveal Assassin hiding beneath it.

"Four Servants confirmed already, Emiya" he spoke into a radio, "Caster, Saber, and what I can only assume to be Archer...the fourth is a mystery, although logically she has to be Rider or Berzerker".

"Good work" replied the Master, "any sign of the Masters?"

"Caster's Master is a young man, he won't be a threat" answered Assassin, "the Master of Saber, I heard, but he was too far away to get a fix on".

* * *

"I'm sorry Master, I was unable to eliminate any of the enemy Servants..." said Archer, now returned to her student form.

"It's alright...we'll have another chance" sighed Kariya.

"If you say so..." said Archer, still looking a bit down.

* * *

Back at the house of Waver's 'grandparents', he and Caster discussed their next move.

"So, what do we know about the other Servants?" asked Waver.

"Saber's main skill is his agility, I guess" mused Caster, "I'm assuming the sniper was Archer, considering they took out Thor in a single shot...I'd guess the final Servant to be Rider? Way too sane to be Berzerker and no spear for Lancer".

"That makes sense..." pondered Waver, "so, Assassin, Berzerker, and Lancer are still nowhere to be seen..."

"Yep" replied Caster, "honestly, Berzerker and Saber are the only ones I'm that worried about. Magic Resistance and direct physical attack on me are about the only things I'm weak to".

"I see..." said Waver, "Kayneth summoned Saber then...and he's a major threat..."

"Trust me buddy, I got plenty of tricks up my sleeve for when it comes to that!" said Caster with a smile, "if the lord of Hell himself couldn't put me down, I doubt these guys can either!"

"Wait, what?" asked a surprised Waver.

"Long story, eight days long actually" grinned Caster, "lotsa chaos and general anarchy involved, plenty of Angels getting their asses kicked by little old me as well!"

 _'What kind of Heroic Spirit IS this guy?'_ thought Waver.

"Soooooo...wanna hear it?" asked Caster.

"Uh...I guess?" replied Waver.

"Alright, though this might feel a bit strange, hang on!" laughed Caster. Waver suddenly felt very tired.

"Caster...?" he mumbled.

"Relax, it's easier to SHOW you it all, you know" said the Servant.

 _In his vision, Waver saw Caster, no younger or older than he appeared when summoned, and two of what he could only assume were friends, wandering casually through some unknown city. This wasn't to last for long, however, with an incursion of supernatural beings throwing the city into mayhem, and the government locking down the entire area; no one went in, or out. Caster and his friends somehow gained the power to contract and control these Demons; through trial, they became powerful Demon Tamers, with an arsenal of beasts of legend at their command. Then came the Demons of Bel; creatures of unimaginable power, all seeking to kill Caster for the power that he held. With the help of his friends, Caster overcame Beldr, the first Bel, and with new allies, defeated Belial, the Bel of Fire. Along the way, he met Haru, the charismatic red-haired woman, who, while he'd never admit it to anyone, Caster may have had a bit of a massive crush on. Honestly, it was obvious even to Waver. Despite all the danger and destruction around him, Caster never failed to act like a bit of an idiot and never took anything quite seriously, but through either insane luck or some degree of actual skill and forethought, he survived many perils._

 _Caster was then forced to make a choice. After learning that Angels had executed the lockdown to 'test' humanity, he turned his fury on them. Yuzu, one of his initial allies, and Keisuke and Midori, who had aided him against Belial, left at this point, to join the forces of Law. Assisted by his brother Naoya, the creator of the Demon Summoning Program, and Kaido, a youth who hungered for revenge, he destroyed Jezebel, a demon of Bel that lurked within Amane, Maiden of the Shomonkai, and Belzaboul, the Lord of the Flies._

 _The final Bel, Belberith, was a tough fight, but Caster proved his power, and ascended to the throne of Bel, the king of all demons, crushing Babel, the gatekeeper, along the way._

 _Finally, he faced the Demon Lord Lucifer in single combat. Even this all-powerful foe was no match for Abel, the King of Bel, and Caster was left unchallenged._

Waver came to with a gasp.

"So...still trust me?" asked Caster.

"You're a...Demon Lord?" gasped Waver, "a rebel against GOD?"

"Believe me, I did it all with the best of intentions" replied Caster, "the Angels treated us like we were nothing, so I proved to them that we were anything but..."

"You..." Waver was surprised. That was...somewhat alike to his own wishes, to be honest.

"Of course, I did it to save my friends as well" said Caster with his trademark grin returning, "I wonder how those guys are getting along now...?"

"Well...if nothing else, I can't doubt your ability now..." sighed Waver. Caster just smiled knowingly in response.

* * *

Unfortunately, everyone's well laid plans were soon to be rendered utterly useless, for whatever strange consciousness the Grail possessed had evidently decided that this war was not insane enough already, and decided to summon yet another Servant from outside the usual boundaries.

"SAVER class? Are they making fun of me for saving the game too often?" sighed the newcomer. "I WAS just being cautious, you know..."

Much like many of the other Servants this strange war had conjured forth...she didn't really look like a typical 'heroic spirit'. She was...well, a young lady in a strange white hoodie, emblazoned with purple symbols in various places. She had purple hair and nestled in it were a pair of clips shaped like the D-Pad of some games console.

"I don't have a Master?" she pondered, "this must mean that I am THE PROTAGONIST!"

And with that strange remark, Saver skipped off towards what she liked to think was adventure and glory.

* * *

 **Might as well throw as Stat Sheet in here now then, eh?**

 **Well, it's incomplete for now, more will show up with time.**

 **Servant - Caster**

 **Identity - ?**

 **Series - ?**

 **Alignment - Chaotic Good**

 **Strength - D**

 **Endurance - C**

 **Agility - D**

 **Magic - A++**

 **Luck - A**

 **Noble Phantasm - A+**

 **Class Skills**

 **Summoning Magic - EX**

 **Territory Creation - ?**

 **Personal Skills**

 **Improvised Tactics - B**

 _The ability to quickly come up with plans or tactics in order to counter events that occur._

 _Evidently Caster is capable of adapting on the fly to nearly any battlefield conditions. While he might not be a master of planning in advance, he can change plans quickly and effectively to counter new threats as they emerge._

 **Presence Concealment - D**

 _A pseudo-skill that is based more off of Caster's own average appearance and the fact that he is unknown to this world._

 _To most, Caster will simply appear to be a normal human. However, if he uses any of his abilities or engages in combat, this will immediately disperse._

 **Demonic Lore - A**

 _An innate knowledge of all matters to do with demons or the demonic._

 _Caster is very well acquainted with demonic entities, to the point of being an expert on summoning, fusing, and commanding demonic forces of almost any kind._

 **? - B**

 **Noble Phantasms**

 **? (Rank ?, Anti Army Type)**


	3. Saber's Bizarre Adventure

**Soooo, this one came a bit sooner than the last, eh? I have to thank Gashadokuro Amanojaku again for helping clear up a few issues with the Stat Sheet for Caster, and thanks also to anyone who's read or reviewed this so far!**

* * *

"We may have a problem" said Assassin to Kiritsugu, "from the looks of things, a Servant is running amok in the area, killing civilians".

"Presumably for the purpose of absorbing prana..." mused Emiya, "if he's left an obvious trail, it shouldn't be hard to track and eliminate his master".

"I've already got men working on it" replied Assassin, "if he's out there, they'll find him".

* * *

A pair of men dressed in police uniforms walked down a street in the back end of Fuyuki city. One of them pulled out a radio.

"Boss, we've picked up something of his trail" he spoke, "whoever this guy is, he's giving off so much prana that we should be able to track him from here". Before he could elaborate, however, a flash of movement was seen, and the man was hurled backwards into a wall, sliced to ribbons by an unseen foe.

His companion dived for cover and drew a sidearm, but before he could use it, the enemy was right on top of him, and with a flurry of claws, he was swiftly eviscerated.

Berzerker stood over the two shredded corpses, pausing for a moment to absorb what prana he could from what were effectively familiars, before moving away faster than the eye could track.

* * *

As someone so closely associated with the Church, Kirei was first to learn of the fact that a bounty had apparently been placed on Berzerker and his Master.

"We're going after this guy, right?" asked Lancer, "we can't just sit here, you know..."

"I...have a better plan" murmured Kirei, "there is one among the contestants who interests me, the so-called Magus Killer. I would know more about him".

"I can fight him then?" sighed Lancer.

"If it comes to that, yes. First, we must gather what information we can" replied Kirei.

* * *

"A bounty on one of the Masters, set by the Church itself?" wondered Sola-Ui.

"To gain another command seal would obviously be an advantage" said Kayneth, "finding Berzerker would be a wise move".

"Weeelllll, I kinda already know where he is, dumbass" interjected Saber, materializing out of nowhere, "the guy is leaving a trail so obvious that any Magus could pick him up..."

"You know where an enemy Servant is hiding and you did not tell me?" growled Kayneth, "some Servant you are!"

"Whatever" sighed Saber, "are we going to kill them or not?"

Kayneth calmed himself somewhat.

"Yes...we are" he said.

* * *

"Remind me why we're heading for THE SEWERS of all places?" asked Waver.

"Well, you want that extra command seal, right?" replied Caster, "good old Berzerker being as helpful as he is, has left a bloody obvious prana trail behind him on his killing spree, and it ends here". As he finished speaking, they rounded a corner to see a huge pipe leading into the depths of the sewage system.

Surprisingly, sounds of what seemed to be combat were coming from within.

"We're late? Awwww..." said Caster, "well...I have an idea"

* * *

"Shit..." gasped Saber, as his adversary seemed to vanish in a flash. Kayneth and he had arrived in what seemed to be an area where several sewage pipes crossed each other, and before they could fully take in their surroundings, a fast moving foe Saber could only assume to be Berzerker had attacked. Kayneth's Volumen Hydraugum had kept him safe from the initial onslaught, so the mad Servant had shifted his focus to Saber.

Berzerker was on the attack in an instant, barely visible due to his impossibly high speed. Saber just about managed to parry the flurry of claws and fury that the mad Servant sent his way, and flashed away using Tsukiyomi to behind some pipes. His eyes widened as he saw the butchered corpses of what seemed to be an entire family, children and all.

"Oh, screw the bounty, this guy needs to die for a whole lot of other reasons" he snarled. Saber twirled his blades and stepped out to face his enemy.

Berzerker stood in the middle of the room. The man was tall, slim, and would probably have been handsome if it wasn't for his distorted, reptilian features. The Servant roared, baring his vicious fangs, and charged headlong at Saber.

Using Tsukiyomi's power, Saber was just about able to keep up with Berzerker's insane agility. He slashed at the Servant's neck, but his sword was caught in one clawed hand.

"How...?" gasped the Servant of the blade. Berzerker's only reply was to claw at Saber's torso with his other hand, wounding the swordsman, who fell backwards.

Hissing in pain, Saber span one sword in and arc and launched himself forward, red energies surrounding his weapons.

"How's this?" he yelled, as he unleashed a barrage of slashes, faster than any human could track. Berzerker was sliced in several places, but quickly counterattacked with a vicious kick that hurled Saber into a pipe, which was dented and crumpled by his impact.

The blade-wielding servant quickly recovered, however, summoning Tsukiyomi, who cast an ominous red light over Berzerker. The mad Servant hissed and stumbled for a second, as energy was sucked out of him, healing some of Saber's wounds. Then, Tsukiyomi grabbed Berzerker while he was stunned and smashed him into the ground.

"Wings of Purgatory!" roared Saber, slicing the air with his two blades. Twin blades of crimson fire roared out if Saber's weapons, catching Berzerker off guard and seriously wounding him. The mad Servant was send crashing through a concrete wall, set alight by the attack and bleeding profusely. Saber laughed.

"Well, you were quite good, but not good enough!" he said.

Just then, Berzerker's master returned from his night out.

"Heyyyy, Berzerker, I brought MORE!" cackled Uryuu, dragging an unconscious child with him.

Saber appeared behind him with a flash of blue light.

"No. You didn't" he said grimly. With a flash of his blade, Uryuu was cleanly decapitated.

"Now that he has been disposed of, we must inform the Church" said Kayneth, emerging from his protective shell.

"Fat lot of good you were...asshole" muttered Saber.

* * *

In the rubble of the next room, something stirred.

"Ugh...my head..." groaned Berzerker, "how could I have lost...?"

The now sane Servant staggered to his feet.

"How am I even still alive?" he mumbled, "I distinctly remember dying..."

"You exist as my agent in this War" came another voice, "prevent the interference of Him, and you shall be allowed to continue existing".

"What? I don't work for anyone, least of all someone who won't show his face!" replied Berzerker.

"Then you will return to ash" said the voice, "serve me for now, and you will be freed".

"Tch..." spat Berzerker, "fine...I have no choice, do I?"

"Now" said the voice, "you are granted the power of your alternate self. Find an eliminate His agent, the one known as Servant Saver".

* * *

"My thanks to you for eliminating that mad dog of a Servant", said Risei Kotomine to Waver, "his actions put this entire War in grave peril".

"Oh, uh, it's no problem, sir" replied Waver.

"You must of course be here for the Command Seal" continued the priest, "I shall grant it to you, then".

The Command Seals on Waver's hand glowed, and another shimmered into existence.

"Thank you, sir" said Waver, "but I must be going now, if I may?"

"Of course" said Risei, "I expect you are quite busy".

Outside the Church, waver breathed a sigh of relief. His deception (or rather, Caster's) had gone unnoticed.

"Sweet, it worked!" laughed Caster, "I knew you had it in you, buddy!"

Caster, seeing that Berzerker had already been engaged by another Servant, had come up with the idea to wait and see if his attacker had been able to dispose of him, then claim credit for the kill before the true assailant could reach the Church.

"So, how about a celebratory meal, eh?" grinned Caster.

* * *

Kirei Kotomine and Lancer cautiously approached the Einzbern Castle through the forest area. The purpose of their being here was to engage Kiritsugu Emiya in combat, something Kirei was looking forward to.

"This is weird" said Lancer, "if he's any good he should know we're here by now".

Kirei did not reply, simply keeping his eyes open for any kind of trap. It came quick quickly.

From a bush to his left, a hail of bullets flew forth. Any lesser man would have been riddled with holes, but Kirei was an Executor, and made of much sterner stuff. His honed reflexes came into play as he dived to the right, just avoiding the attack. Black Keys materialized in his hands, and he hurled a bunch into the bush. A yell of pain was heard, and Kirei sprang forwards, charging his attacker. The man was, however, already dead.

The man was dressed in military fatigues, with the emblem of a dog on his sleeve. An automatic rifle lay by his impaled body. Kirei's eyes narrowed. This 'man' was some kind of familiar, possibly part of a noble phantasm. Behind him, he heard the noises of combat. Kirei quickly span round to face this new attack, but Lancer had clearly already dealt with the attackers, two more soldiers of similar equipment.

"The Servant must be here somewhere" said Lancer, now in her battle dress, a crimson outfit with white trim, and her trademark spear in hand, "it has to be Assassin, since we can't sense him".

Just then, Kirei felt the cold metal of a gun pressed to the back of his head.

"Don't move" came a growl from behind him. Kirei whirled around, disarming the man with his Black Keys, and threw himself into combat. Surprisingly, the man blocked Kirei's flurry of slices with some sort of prosthetic arm.

"You're pretty good" grinned the man. He then threw some sort of grenade to the ground.

Kirei's eyes widened and he dived away, but smoke poured from the device rather than it exploding. When the cloud cleared, there was no sign of the man.

"That had to be Assassin" said Lancer. Kirei nodded.

"He may be difficult to track" he replied.

* * *

Assassin had returned to the Castle proper. Two of his soldier stood guard on an observation post they'd set up.

"Boss, if he tries to come this way, we'll let you know!" said one of them, saluting Assassin.

"Thank you, at ease" replied Assassin, "I'll have you sent some more firepower. A Machine Gun emplacement and mortar should keep him off your backs".

"Thanks, Boss!" said the second soldier.

Assassin fiddled with his iDroid for a moment, and before long two crates arrived by parachute.

"Gentlemen, enjoy your new weapons" he said, "I have to go and prepare for Lancer's arrival".

* * *

Saver's epic quest to become the main character was...not going well. There were no dungeons to delve, no monsters to defeat, and she hadn't even found another Servant yet.

"Oh, whatever, I can just go and get some pudding" she said to herself.

Saver made her way to the nearest place offering food...only to find another Servant had already had the same idea.

* * *

Archer hummed to herself as she loaded items into her shopping basket. Since Kariya was in such a state, Archer had volunteered to get food for him. She suddenly became aware of another presense in the area.

 _'A servant?'_ she thought, _'this can't end well'_.

The other Servant entered the store.

"Heyyy, I didn't expect you to be here" greeted the newcomer. Archer was slightly taken aback by the lack of hostility.

"Don't mind me, I'm just here for pudding!" said the Servant with a wide smile, and walked off to another aisle. Archer just stood there, quite shocked. The other Servant returned with an armful of pudding.

"Soooo, you wanna hang out or something?" she asked, "I'm reaaally bored".

"Aren't you...my enemy, or something?" spluttered Archer, "why aren't you more...well, hostile?"

"That's DULL" said the Servant, "you seem like an alright kinda gal, so I thought I'd come and say hi!"

"Uh...I guess?" replied the still puzzled Archer, "but I have to deliver this first?"

"Surreeeee, okay, meet me uh...over there somewhere in about an hour?" said the Servant, gesturing wildly to a park across the street, "catch ya later!" The bizzare Servant sprinted off to pay for her pudding.

"What on earth have I gotten into..." sighed Archer

* * *

 **Another incomplete Stat Sheet here I suppose. Again, these will become more detailed as chapters pass. Some Servants may also be lying about their stats, eh?**

 **Servant - Assassin**

 **Identity - ?**

 **Series - ?**

 **Alignment - Chaotic Good**

 **Strength - C**

 **Endurance - C**

 **Agility - D**

 **Magic - E**

 **Luck - D**

 **Noble Phantasm - C**

 **Class Skills**

 **Presence Concealment - A+**

 **Personal Skills**

 **Charisma - C**

 **? - C**

 **Weapons Master - A**

 _The ability to be skilled in the use of weaponry, combat vehicles, and military equipment._

 _In his life, Assassin was a master of every weapon of his era, from simple pistols, to guided missiles, battle tanks, and directional mines._

 **Noble Phantasms**

 ** _Diamond Dogs, the Soldiers Without Borders (Rank ?, ? Type_ )**

 ** _? (Rank ?, ? Type_ )**


	4. Mr Cypher Will See You Now

**This part is kinda where things start to heat up...and also where I try to be a bit original to differentiate myself from the many other fanfics with similar premises.**

 **Again, many thanks for reading this, and thank you to anyone who's reviewed so far!**

* * *

"Sooooo, who summoned you, was it a cute girl?" asked Saver to a still confused Archer. Honestly, Archer wasn't quite sure why she was here, but, well, she was, and she now had to deal with Saver's antics.

"Um...no?" she replied.

"Awwww, that's gotta suck!" pouted Saver, "I mean, I can't really talk, what with being summoned by nobody and all, but..." Archer took note of that last part.

"You don't have a Master?" she said, "how...how are you even staying materialized?"

"Well, my Personal Skill is to DEFY SENSE AND LOGIC!" announced Saver. Archer sighed.

"But...how were you summoned?" she said.

"I dunno, I just sort of...happened?" replied Saver. Clearly this wasn't really going anywhere. Just then, Archer felt an aura of overwhelming menace and power, just on the edge of her perception.

"Well, two of you in one place without anarchy and destruction breaking out...I must say, I'm impressed" came a voice from behind the bench where Archer and Saver were seated.

The speaker was a tall, slim blonde man dressed in a blue suit, with an orange tie. His aura was...wrong. He couldn't be a Servant, or even a Master...no, he wasn't even human.

"Please, can we drop the hostility?" said the man, "Servant Archer, my name is Cypher, and I am here to aid you in this Holy Grail War. Servant Saver, you, I have spoken to already". Cypher produced a small box from his suit pocket.

"Please accept this gift, Servant Archer" he said, handing Archer the box, "but alas I have little time, as there are things I must attend to, so I bid you farewell...and Servant Saver, beware of The World".

With those parting words, Cypher turned and strode away.

Archer stared at the box in her hand. She'd taken it from Cypher out of reflex, she guessed.

"Soooo, what's inside?" asked an eager Saver. Archer hesitated to open the box. The Cypher man was...offputting, to say the least. Something just felt very off about him. Mustering her courage, Archer lifted the lid on the box...and lost consciousness.

* * *

Archer awoke in a back alley, with Kariya and Saver standing watch over her.

"W-what...happened?" she spluttured, still dazed and confused.

"You just kinda...passed out?" replied Saver, "I brought you here because this guy is your boss, right?"

"Uh...yeah, I guess he is" said Archer. She felt...different, somehow, as if she'd gained something, but she had no idea what.

* * *

The former Servant Berzerker, now an agent of something else, was on the hunt for Saver. His plan was to find magical laylines, and from there focus in on the signatures of Servants in Fuyuki City. One of them had to be Saver.

As soon as he located Saver, his newfound abilities, and newfound sanity, would let him make quick work of her, or so he hoped.

The former Berzerker sensed a handful of Servant signatures almost immediately after reaching one of the focal points, located at an old shrine building. Two were together, in central Fuyuki. One, he sensed in the forest area near the Einzbern castle. That one was likely not Saver; Saver couldn't have been summoned by the Einzbern magus, and was unlikely to assault them, based on the information his new patron had given him.

The two Servants seemed like the best target to check first, he decided, and set off in that direction.

* * *

"There's a Servant headed our way" said Saver to Archer and Kariya, "just thought I'd let you know".

Archer staggered to her feet.

"I doubt they'll be as friendly as you..." she said with a grimace.

Just then, the Servant leapt from a rooftop and landed next to them. He was a slender man with long blonde hair, dressed in a riding outfit with a jockey's cap.

"Servant Saver" he said, his voice full of arrogant self-confidence, "I'm here to claim your life". Saver broke out in laughter at this.

"Really?" she said, "that's soooooo cliché, at least work on your entrance!"

The Servant snarled, and threw a punch at Saver, who, surprisingly, dodged with remarkable speed.

"I am Servant Avenger!" the newcomer announced, "and I will not be treated like this!"

Saver conjured a wooden sword out of nowhere with a flash of purple light, and Archer transformed into her battle dress in an instant, a handgun appearing in each hand.

Avenger dived forward, and an invisible force struck Saver hard in the gut, flinging her back into the alley wall with a crash.

"Ouch!" she yelled, "that kinda hurt!".

Archer dived to one side, opening fire on Avenger, but the rounds were either dodged or deflected by the same force that had struck Saver.

"He's too fast..." she gasped, leaping backwards, and just in time, as Avenger's next invisible attack smashed a crater in the concrete where she had been moments before. In an instant, Avenger had closed the distance and was bearing down on Archer.

Somehow, Archer caught Avenger's invisible strike.

"What?" gasped Avenger, "how did you...can you see my Stand?"

Archer didn't reply. Instead, she swung her other fist into Avenger's face, sending him reeling backwards.

 _'How did I...'_ thought Archer ' _there's no way I should have been able to do that!"_

"Tch, you won't get lucky twice!" roared Avenger, but before he could charge again, Saver decided to intervene.

"Gonna hit ya!" came her bizarre battle cry, as she brought her wooden sword down on Avenger, striking him squarely in the back.

Avenger stumbled forwards, then recovered and assailed Saver again with his unseen power.

Kariya decided to take this chance to get away from the Servant.

"Archer...come on, we're leaving" he said. Archer looked back at the melee as they retreated, seeing Avenger smashing great chunks out of the walls and ground in an attempt to hit Saver, who kept evading his blows.

* * *

Servant Rider sat calmly on the roof of Tokiomi's estate, with very little to do. Tokiomi hadn't given orders to engage any enemy Servants since the dock battle, and even the Berzerker situation had been resolved swiftly without them getting a chance to intervene. Quite suddenly, a man in a suit materialized beside her.

"Cypher..." said Rider, "I was wondering when you'd appear again".

"Well, I was otherwise occupied" replied Cypher, "I am, after all, a busy man".

"Evidently" Rider said, "why are you here, then, and not there?"

"I had an idea, you know" grinned Cypher, "after all, Avenger is an unknown here, is he not?"

"Avenger?" asked Rider.

"Oh yes, the replacement for the former Berzerker" replied Cypher, "would you like to know more?"

* * *

To say that Risei was displeased would be an understatement. Servants causing havoc and chaos in broad daylight, even after the Berzerker matter had been resolved?

"There is a solution to this" said a robed woman standing behind him.

"Yes, there may be...that is not yet an option, however" replied Risei.

"The Fallen One has likely already made his move, and will be gathering Servants to his cause" replied the woman, "we must do the same, before he corrupts this city with his filth".

"That is...true" said Risei, "but my priority must be keeping this as secret as can be possible"

"Very well" said the woman, "but I shall assign you one of my associates, to ensure that you may call on us if you need to".

A tall man with long black hair, dressed in the outfit of a priest and wearing glasses, emerged from an alcove.

"Greetings, Risei Kotomine" he said, "I am M".

"Greetings to you too" replied the old priest, "but, if you'll excuse me, I must attend to the covering up of this latest battle". Risei stood up from his seat, and left the room.

"The interference of the Fallen One in the Servant selection alone has done much damage" said M to the woman, "while it was what allowed us to form ourselves in this world, if he had not interfered, he himself would not be here".

"Indeed" replied the woman, "but now we must, regrettably, wait and see what move he is planning next".

* * *

 **So, does anyone recognize any of the 'patrons' so far? Berzerker's patron should be quite obvious to those more versed in Fate lore, I feel, but Risei and Archer's might be a bit more obscure...since they're not Fate natives.**

 **And here, for your viewing pleasure, is Avenger's (incomplete) character sheet.**

 **Servant - Avenger**

 **Identity - ?**

 **Series - ?**

 **Alignment - Chaotic Neutral**

 **Strength - A**

 **Endurance - B**

 **Agility - A**

 **Magic - C**

 **Luck - D**

 **Noble Phantasm - EX**

 **Class Skills**

 **None**

 **Personal Skills**

 **? - B**

 **? - B**

 **Mental Pollution - D**

 ** _Avenger's arrogance and belief in his own superiority grants him a resistance to any attack against his mind or will._**

 **Noble Phantasms**

 ** _? (Rank EX, Anti-Fortress Type_ )**

 **An ability that manifests as an invisible (to most) projection that Avenger can control at will. It has a short range but hits with immense power and is immune to damage except from certain special sources. It has other, yet unrevealed power.**

 **? (Rank ?, ? Type)**


End file.
